How Did I Get Here?

God had a Dream, so here we are.

I had a feeling, so I wrote this.

…

On this musty, mid-summer morning, I meditate beside boilers, boxes, and tons of trash that I need take out to make my cash. 

I must lower my head, not only so I don’t get popped by a pipe but to give thanks for this place I write.   

A better space there might be, but this place I see is just right for me. 

“Peace of mind or peace in mind?” Green Street Matthew used to say. But it feels like both on this day. 

There’s “peace of mind” knowing I was able to walk to the bathroom last night, and it’s been a while since I’ve witnessed a fight, or maybe it’s just that my first book might take flight. 

That book opened with degrees of my life and gave me light that I should continue to write about the classes of my latest plight. 

Well… Welfare “101” wound me up in work programs.  Then I headed to hassles in housing court, attended events of eviction, felt frustrations in family court, only to deal with dozens of dollars of debt. 

In these months past, I must also ask:  Did I pass or did I fail when I fell in love?  Perhaps I got a “D” for dismissal, but was that my destiny? 

And even though some might have misunderstood my motive, I still wound up at the University of Unity. 

There, I sensed sympathetic souls whose spirits lived long days of loved ones that lead lives with leukemia.  And on Wednesdays, I witnessed woes and wonders of wellness ‘til toddlers got timely transplants. 

Finally, my financial funding fell to staying afloat, and as my feet throbbed,  through 3 jobs a night.  Fatigued, I flopped on the floor to see scans of my spine.

Though the body was still, I was moved in mind when my morning mediation lent these willing words.

“Paul, pain just tells your brain that you are not insane and you can feel.  So make an internal deal, and you will be given the ability to heal.”

So now I seem to serve a residence of routine where I regularly reside and try not to hide, on each day when I let God lead the way. Where? To a place I find, “peace in mind.”